A spammer uses a recognizable form of English: 1 drink

A spammer claims that its get-rich-quick scheme is legal: 1 drink

A spammer claims that its get-rich-quick scheme works: 1 drink

Someone replies to the spammer with a short, obscene sentence: 1 drink

Someone reposts the entire spam in their reply: 4 drinks

A spammer fakes its e-mail address: 1 drink

A spammer fakes an AOL address: sniff the cork on the bottle, it happens too often to count

Netcom shuts down a spammer's account: 1 keg, after you recover from fainting in astonishment

The spam is a porno ad: 1 drink

A spammer asks for naked pictures of an actor: 1 belt (to the spammer)

A spammer crossposts: 2 drinks

The spam is in HTML: 1 drink

A spammer apologizes for spamming: 5 cups of black coffee, because you've been playing this game too long

The spam *isn't* a porno ad or chain letter: 3 drinks

The spam includes a 1-800 number or an URL: 2 drinks

A spammer crossposts to alt.tv.forever.knight or some equally-defunct newsgroup: 4 drinks

A spammer doesn't get reported to his ISP: don't worry, it'll never happen

The spam *doesn't* involve a get-rich quick scheme: 5 drinks

A spammer tries to sell something at an inflated price: 1 drink

The spam offers to sell the plans for a cable-TV descrambler: 1 drink

A new spammer re-uses an old chain letter: 3 drinks

A spammer multiply-posts the spam: 1 drink for each repost

The spam's heading begins with "Re:" to imply that the spammer is *really* just responding to somebody else's post: 2 drinks

A spammer claims to have psychic powers: 1 toast over his/her grave (because he forgot that psychics always die around Nick)

A spammer says something intelligent: drink until you need a new liver

The spam gets cancelled by the spammer's server: 10 drinks

A spammer tells you that he's about to do you a favor: 1 drink

A spammer posts a cute little off-topic item that he thought was so clever everyone would enjoy it: 1 empty bottle (to break over his empty head)

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Last modified: April 10, 2006