Forever Spam

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O Spammer! My Spammer!



{with apologies to Walt Whitman--who would have hated spammers}


O Spammer! my Spammer! thy fearful deed is done!
This group has taken all your crap, you've had your little fun.
Your spam is here, your greed is clear, your presence is revolting.
And in my eyes you are a heel, so your actions I'm reporting.
            The netiquette you won't obey
            Has roused me to a fury.
            If I had my way you'd spend your days
            Confessing to a jury.

O Spammer! damned Spammer! drop dead and go to Hell!
Drop dead--for you the grave is dug--for you Death rings out its knell.
You know the hatred of this group is something you've been earning,
And if we ever hunt you down in a bonfire you'll be burning!
            Hear Spammer! damned spammer!
            What I have planned for you!
            I'm getting your account shut down
            And there's nothing you can do!

My Spammer does not answer, his screen sits dark and still.
He's off the Net, he's in a mess, his actions were illegal.
I have tracked him to his lair, and found his e-mail address,
And sent it to his postmaster, who revoked his network access!
            Exult, O group, and sing, O Net
            His spamming days are done!
            And how much would you like to bet
            He isn't having fun?

(Okay, as poems go this bites. At least it bites spammers.)

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Last modified: April 10, 2006